In Part 1, we established a hard but necessary truth: you cannot please everyone.
So, the question becomes—how do you live when you finally accept that?
You may find yourself at odds with others, when they don’t understand you or form negative opinions about you.
That said, do not always blame others for not fully understanding you, they are not God. Sometimes some of the things we go through are unexplainable and exhausting to explain or articulate. We must learn to be patient with people when they cannot understand.
You do not have to always explain yourself. You must not always have to speak. Sometimes, we must be quiet. Sometimes, it would be wise to act dumb. Sometimes, turn a blind eye, blink a few seconds longer and pretend you did not see what happened. Just move on.
When you focus on your purpose and peace in God, He is pleased and your life becomes more fulfilling.
Focusing on yourself does not mean selfishness. It means allowing yourself to be your best version to help others. Our purpose is not solely about us. While we serve God and others, God takes care of us. However, we have a responsibility to take care of ourselves.
Being intentional and mindful of your time and your space may attract some negativity, and that is okay.
So, what should you do to avoid being deceived, manipulated or even taken for granted? How do you avoid falling into guilt traps?
At a high level: set personal boundaries.
Your goals and purposes will naturally define your boundaries. Your relationships, interactions, and commitments must align with your purpose. Anything outside of it will bring unnecessary stress.
Sometimes, we struggle to respond to out-of-purpose requests and expectations. Often, we simply do not know how to say ‘no’.
Jesus reminded us that we are not alone in these moments.
“And when you are brought to trial in the synagogues and before rulers and authorities, don’t worry about how to defend yourself or what to say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what needs to be said.” Luke 12:11-12 NLT
He will guide us on what to say and what to do. There is no need to panic or feel pressured. Ask Him for direction. And wait for an answer.
If you do not receive immediate clarity, do not force a response. Do not be compelled to move or do something. You are not obligated to act on the spot. It is okay to inform that you will pray or think about it.
“He that believes will not make haste.” Do not allow yourself to be rushed into things you are not comfortable with. Don’t allow others make you feel guilty for your decision. That is manipulation.
Coming back to the central idea: we all have different sides to us.
“You are coming to Christ, who is the living cornerstone of God’s temple. He was rejected by people, but he was chosen by God for great honor.” 1 Peter 2:4 NLT
Even Jesus was rejected by many, yet He was chosen by God for a great honour.
One person, Jesus received very different reactions simply for being Himself. As far as Jesus Christ is concerned, he remained aligned with God’s plan and purpose. That is what truly matters.
We must carry ourselves and our responsibilities with diligence.
For example, at work, you may be a leader. You understand what your responsibilities are: setting goals, assigning tasks, and supporting them to do their jobs. You also know you are not their parent neither are you their romantic partner. Boundaries matter.
As a parent, you have your responsibilities and duty to care for your children until they come to maturity in all aspect. While you raise them to become responsible adults, you must not transfer your responsibilities to them. Some people hand over their parental duties to their children because of their jobs, out of necessity and circumstance. No matter how old your children get, you will always be the parent, and they will depend on you for something, an encouraging word, spiritual and emotional support, a hug. These do not expire. No child or adult outgrows these needs.
Understanding who we are, what we need to do and how we are to live is essential.
“To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity. To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd. You rescue the humble, but your eyes watch the proud and humiliate them.” 2 Samuel 22:26-28 NLT
If God relates to people differently based on their posture, why should you feel pressured to be the same version of yourself in every situation?
We are not just one thing. At times, we will respond one way, at other times, differently. And it is fine. That is not inconsistency if we remain within the boundaries of God’s plan and purpose for us. Refuse to be confined within the expectations of onlookers.
Closing Reflection (Final)
You will always have different sides of you in the eyes of different people.
But the goal is not to control their perception.
The goal is to remain aligned.
- Aligned with purpose.
- Aligned with truth.
- Aligned with God.