Women do so much.
Most times we are running with maximum capacity, firing off on all cylinders. It does take a toll on us if we are not mindful of the amount of energy we release all the time.
If we are doing so much, it is because we intend to produce results; it is because we have set goals to accomplish.
What has science got to do with it?
We are multi taskers by nature.
Given that we are not robots, we bring in our emotions in everything we do. There’s nothing wrong with this. It is nature’s design that our emotions are involved in achieving goals and performing activities. The more we achieve, the more we are motivated to keep doing. There is a concept known as the Hebbian rule that can roughly be stated as “neurons that fire together wire together”. Basically, our brain’s neurons have the capacity to change or modify their connections based on our behavioural patterns, how we see and perceive our environments.
Your brain is the control room of all your emotions. There are neurotransmitters responsible for keeping you motivated primarily dopamine (DA neurons). Others include serotonin and endorphins.
But there’s potential problem if these neurotransmitters are not firing powerfully or appropriately.
We bring in our emotions in most things we do including parenting, business, and even charity engagements. Our emotions drive us. The way others address us and how we address others impacts us positively or negatively. We do use a whole amount of emotional energy regularly.
When we give and do good things to others, either in personal or professional circles, generally, we expect some level of reward. We want to be acknowledged, recognized, and appreciated. And rightfully so. This is all part of the workings of our brain, DA is released when we accomplish something and receive acknowledgment or appreciation, which then motivates us to want to continue to do those good things. Basically, activities that bring us rewards are reinforced in our brains to be continued. We are motivated.
Expectations of reward influence motivation
The challenge comes when our efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated. How do we keep going when acknowledgment doesn’t come?
Things will not always turn out the way we imagine them. Sometimes, we go unappreciated, and this results in disappointments, which can lead to setbacks and resentments depending on how we handle those disappointments.
You see, if a reward is smaller than expected or fails to occur at its appointed time, DA neurons are not released. That is when we feel disappointed and discouraged to continue the activity.
I must also note that when things don’t pan out as expected, and we get acknowledged even for the attempt, we will still get a burst of dopamine release which motivates us to keep on in the same direction. Maybe to do better, or apply efficiencies, etc.
With the basic understanding of our chemical nature, how do we work to overcome disappointments?
Understand that acknowledgments or recognitions may seldom come. It does not mean that we did not do good or work hard or gave it our best shot.
Realize that the praises of people can be fickle, shallow and temporary. Folks can take back the glory they give you. So, it cannot be entirely relied on.
When you are praised, and acknowledged, by all means, be grateful. Be empowered and run with it. But it should not be your life’s diesel. It should not be a cushion for your head to rest on, because it may not be there the next morning when you wake up.
You may have been in situations where you went out of your way to do something special for someone, but you did not get as much as a thank you or it didn’t come the way you would expect it.
We need to gauge our expectations for sure. I would like to ask you “why did you do what you did in the first place?” I believe your answer would be that your heart reached out to help. Realize this is good and godly.
Remember, the stronger arm lifts. Be encouraged you have exercised that arm to lift.
Watch out for the continuation of this article next week. I will address some of the problems we encounter and how to deal with them.
Stay motivated!