Last week’s article addressed how we are wired to be motivated by acknowledgments and appreciation. If you missed the previous article, please go back to read it for more context. It is enlightening.
With the basic understanding of how Dopamine, the motivation neuron works in us, we also do have the responsibility to keep moving on.
What then is the problem?
The thing is that sometimes we want to please someone, a loved one, members of our family, a close friend. But good deeds backfire sometimes, when you are not thanked or appreciated as you expected. Maybe someone else got the acknowledgement for whatever reason.
Why People May Not Acknowledge You
Sometimes, people don’t express gratitude the way we expect. This can happen for several reasons of which we must be mindful of:
- Entitlement: Some folks believe they deserve what you did, so they don’t see a need to thank you. In this case, your good actions will backfire in the feelings of disappointment.
- Expectation: Others assume it was simply your role or responsibility, for example, taking care of someone, or even doing a paid job so acknowledgment feels unnecessary. This makes me laugh as I truly find it funny. In these situations, what can you do but to keep doing the needful?
- Overwhelmed Individuals: Some are too preoccupied with their struggles to stop and recognize your efforts. Learn to make and accept excuses for others. Although we know most people will take a few seconds to look you in the eyes and give you a firm endearing handshake, thanking you before they run off.
- Unwanted Help: Not everyone wants help, even if you believe they need it. If they didn’t ask for it, they might not appreciate it. If you did it to please them, you will be left disappointed.
Keep it moving
We cannot totally depend on others to make us feel good about ourselves. It is no one’s responsibility but ours to make us happy, not even your spouse’s. You set yourself up for mental stress and disappointments if you rely on others for your whole happiness.
How do you keep moving?
Here are some ways to cultivate emotional resilience, inner strength and remain motivated:
- Exercise and Mindfulness – Physical movement and mental relaxation help maintain brain health and emotional stability.
- Healthy Social Circles – Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.
- Faith and Purpose – Remember, even when the world doesn’t recognize you, God does. He is the ultimate rewarder.
You shouldn’t build fences or stop being nice to people.
The Art of Genuine Appreciation
Most people are taught to say, “thank you” and “please”. But only a few know how to appreciate. Appreciation stretches the “thank you” to another level.
As usual, I like to point out that whatever is good for you is most likely good for others. Just as we desire acknowledgment, we must also practice genuine appreciation toward others.
A simple “thank you” is nice, but true appreciation comes from the heart—it recognizes effort, values contribution, and expresses gratitude meaningfully.
It is important to note that while we expect that people be grateful to us, we must not expect they be thanking us forever. There is no need for them to always recall all you did for them and prostrate before you each time they see you. Expect folks to move on with their lives. Your credit is to see them happy and accomplished. Remember, God is the rewarder. Girl, it’s His reward that you want!
Also, remember to give people credit, for their actions, ideas, recommendations and overall support to you. When others have contributed to your success, acknowledge them. Avoid the temptation to take all the credit. Remember that others will thrive in the spotlight too, just like you are. Be mindful and respectful to share that light with them.
Conclusion
Don’t let your mind be influenced and occupied by things, including negative responses and outcomes that don’t profit or build you up.
Know yourself, you are good, and of good stock. Whether you are frequently acknowledged or not, your worth remains unchanged. Your reward is greater than earthly praise.
By God’s grace given to you, guard your heart against disappointments and misplaced expectations. (Well, the emotions come from the brain which then influences the beatings of your heart. 😊) Your value is not tied to human recognition—your impact speaks for itself.
Remember the words of the Lord Jesus: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 ESV
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23 NLT
Girl, I acknowledge you today for all you do for you, for your family and for your world. You are amazing!!
THANK YOU!!
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